We all know the 5 magic words (thank you, please, sorry, pardon me, excuse me). People say it's magic but for me, it's actually a basic polite word. From those 5 words, I feel like "Sorry" Is the word that we abused the most.
Here, in Indonesia, we have been taught by our parents to say sorry when we hurt others, or when you made a mistake. But, somehow as time goes by, this sorry develop its uses into more hmmm I say.....varieties and now it has lost its meaning.
These days, I feel like everyone says sorry with less or no meaning at all. Don't get me wrong, I did it too many times. When I'm upset but I want it to be solved immediately, or just to be playful with "mon maap ni...." Or when I am humbly asking help from someone.
I too have Mpok Minah syndrome when I want a quick fix because I don't like the feeling when someone is mad at me until I realize" Wtf am I sorry for". For meaningless sorry.
At times I did it sincerely, I'm sorry I hurt your feeling lets be friends again. And if they don't accept my apologies I think about it all the time, mau makan kepikiran, mau tidur kepikiran, it's all in my mind.
I know some of you will say " Lebay lo Yu" But its true of how I feel.
Jadi suka ga paham ama org yg nipu atau menyakiti orang lain, man how do you get away with that?
So anyway, as I was saying, we hear people saying their sorry like an obligation, or as a start of every sentence "sorry nih, mau minta tolong". Well, I'm not blaming you, if you watch Bajaj Bajuri too often when you are a kid and you are influenced by Mpok Minah.
But please, try the other word. Maybe you can use,
" mau minta tolong nih...."
"Do you mind if i...."
Lain cerita kalo kita emang yang salah dan as my friend was saying "jangan malu buat bilang maaf duluan krn itu ngga akan nurunin harga diri kita kok". Kalo udh bilang tp ngga dimaafin jg, Coba lagi 2x,3x
Or maybe they need bigger gesture
Masih ngga dimaafin jg?
No, the ball is in their court. Your job is done because you can't control everyone.
And for you as an adult, as receiver of apologies please don't be an a$$hole by saying " Tuh kan dia duluan yang minta maaf".
It's not about winning or losing. So stop doing that. Marilah berjiwa besar dan memaafkan. I read somewhere, forgiving may easy, but forgetting what they have done to you is harder. Idunno, tapi penyakit hati memang menyeramkan dan ibadah hati memang paling sulit. But anyway u know the best for yourselves.
To sum up, in order to bring back the meaning between sorry. Please identify what are you trying to say first and think about do I need to start with "sorry". And for you who got Mpok Minah syndrome sucking all your phrases try Google " Replacement word for sorry".
Same goes by in a business setting when you make a mistake, you own it and apologies. But keeping it at minimum, because saying sorry a lot may be hurting yourself more than you know.
Normally, client just want to get what they paid. Or if you are like me making money by servicing the audience, think again before you start your PR gospel, is it your mistake? Or your audience needs attention? Either way, try to read the HBR and check for the replacement of what you meant. There are plenty of words for that. And back to the question, of when? When you actually mean it. Sincerely. Not for filling the gaps between your words. That is what i meant.